How do YOU spell S-U-C-C-E-S-S?

In 1989, in a speech to the American Women’s Economic Development Corporation, Oprah Winfrey listed her personal ten commandments. This list appears in Oprah Winfrey Speaks: Insight from the World’s Most influential Voice, by Janet Lowe.

Oprah Winfrey’s Ten Commandments for Success

1. Don’t live your life to please others.
2. Don’t depend on forces outside of yourself to get ahead.
3. Seek harmony and compassion in your business and personal life.
4. Get rid of the backstabbers—surround yourself only with people who will lift you higher.
5. Be nice.
6. Rid yourself of your addictions—whether they are food, alcohol, drugs or behavior habits.
7. Surround yourself with people who are as smart or smarter than you.
8. If money is your motivation, forget it.
9. Never hand over your power to someone else.
10. Be persistent in pursuing your dreams.

No one can deny that Oprah is a role model for success. From humble beginnings, this business mogul gives you the impression that she's a "real person" ... the kind of person you'd really like to spend the day with. She also has a penchant for philanthropy -- paying it forward.

It is true that success means different things to different people. There are very few Oprahs in the world, but there ARE a lot of successful people. What makes a person successful?

My dear friend, Dr. Erna Harris, recently asked me to be a guest on her cable program Process for Profit to talk about just that ... what does it takes to be a success? If you ask any successful person, you are likely to get some variation on these keys to success ... they are really very simple:

• You have to have a dream. What are you reaching for? What is your goal? How will you know when you've achieved it?
• You have to have a true belief that you will achieve your dream. If you don't believe in yourself, who will? If you've ever read The Secret or heard about the "Law of Attraction," you know that believing that something will come to you ... putting out that positive intention ... is a powerful force.
• You have to have a plan. Believing in yourself is a wonderful start but you can't just sit around and wait for the universe to bring you good fortune (although some might say you should do exactly that). If you make a plan for achieving your dreams, the baby steps you take along the way help fuel your progress. Success breeds success!
• Just do it! Nike is right. Taking action ... doing it ... is a big part of achieving your dreams
• You have to really want it. When the going gets tough, your drive and determination will depend more on your sincere desire to achieve your dreams.

How do YOU spell S-U-C-C-E-S-S? Do you have a dream ... something that you've always wanted to do? Are there voices in your own head or from others around you that are holding you back?

Getting Your Bearings ...

• There will never be a "perfect time" to pursue your dream. If you find yourself making excuses for not following your dream right now, you may be getting in your own way. If you can recognize that, you can own it and move past it.
• It does take courage to pursue a dream. Many people spend their time thinking about "What would happen if I fail?". I would challenge you to think about "How will I feel when I succeed?"
• You'll need a personal cheerleader. Find a trusted friend or coach who will support you in the pursuit of your dream. I'm not suggesting you look for a "yes man (or woman)". You need the moral support of someone who is a good listener and who truly believes you deserve to be happy in what you do.

Think about your vision, believe in your dream, talk about it as though it is already here and before you know it ... you'll be living it!

Believe!

Does a Job Search Have to be Daunting?

Searching for a new job seems to be the big thing on a lot of people's minds these days. I've been there and it can be a pretty isolating and overwhelming exercise.

Some basic questions to ask yourself when you're getting started are:

• What am I actually looking for? Do I like what I do well enough to do it again or do I need or want a fresh start? Sometimes the biggest impediment to finding a job is a lack of clarity in what you want to do. Spend some time exploring your interests, values, skills and personal goals here. A little soul-searching may save you countless hours of spinning your wheels. If you "don't have a clue," you can look for self assessments on line, contact your local career center or look for a career coach to guide you.
• Where would I like to work? Where am I most likely to find the right opportunities for me? Targeting specific companies is a good precursor to networking. Take a look at the "best companies to work for" lists. The Internet contains a wealth of lists ranging from geographic areas to company size to companies that are "family friendly". Fortune magazine publishes a list of the Top 100 Best Companies to Work For every year and evaluates each company based on their policies and culture with a heavy weighting given to the opinions of the company's employees. http://money.cnn.com/magazines/fortune/bestcompanies/full_list/
• Whom do I know that could help me? Networking is the key to the more than 70% of jobs that are filled before they even get posted. Some people may believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness and you should be able to get a job "on your own." If that describes you, you need to get past it! Meeting someone inside an organization who can clue you in to a company's culture or, more importantly, their pain points could really help you differentiate yourself in an interview. Additionally, if you really hit it off with your networking contact, s/he might even be willing to ask a hiring manager to take a look at your resume. Remember, the networking contact doesn't GET you the job ... that's entirely up to you. The "what's in it for them" is the opportunity to help another human being (and it COULD mean a referral bonus in some companies!). Also, whenever you network with someone, you need to be mindful of giving something back if you can ... a contact that could help him with a problem ... a recommendation of a book on a topic of shared interest ... a suggestion on something that has been successful for you that could help her.
• When do I need to have this new job? What's my timeframe or sense or urgency? You may be searching for your dream job but, the reality is, the bills need to be paid. Making plans for landing a dream opportunity may have to go on the back burner if you have a sense of urgency. If you do go for a "bridge-job," don't just settle; be sure it's something you can be happy doing or you won't last long. And keep an eye out for opportunities that can take you a step closer to your dream job!
• How do I go about the process of finding a new job? There is definitely a process to follow here and I will be covering it in an entry VERY soon.

The "why" here is not important (i.e. why am I looking for/out of a job) ... your focus on the past should only be long enough to think about what worked for you and what did NOT work for you about your past position(s). What's done is done. If you had a bad experience in your last position, you need to work on a positive "exit statement" to talk about why you left. Make it short and to the point. DO NOT tell the saga of the trials and tribulations. You need to keep a forward focus!
Getting Your Bearings ...

To make your job search less daunting:

• Don't let it consume your time 24/7. You need to schedule in some time for fun and relaxation or you WILL burn out (probably faster than if you were employed).
• Set aside a specific time each day for your job search. Plan time off on the weekends (at least one day).
• Make a plan for what you're going to accomplish and track it (you'll need that for unemployment anyway).
• Give yourself a reward for actually MAKING that networking call or researching that company ... even if it's just taking a walk around the block. (Suggestion: Don't use hot fudge sundaes as a reward ... the results could be disastrous!)
• Be open to the possibilities.
• Trust that you WILL find your next opportunity.

Good luck with your search!

All You Need is Love!

I'm sitting here at my computer getting ready for a post-holiday celebration with my husband and children, and my siblings and their spouses and extended families. I am reminded that the love and support of your family and friends is key to making any successful transition in your life or career.

Any change is difficult and we often get in our own way with the "Yeah, buts" in our heads that tell us we can't. The devil we know is better than the devil we don't know. These doubts, my friends, begin as pebbles along our paths and, if we allow them, they can grow to be boulders. If you find a boulder in your road and you can't go around it and you can't go over it and you can't go through it ... maybe you need a little help to push it out of your path so you can move forward.

For some people who are lucky enough to live with a great support system, this may seem to be an easy task. Others may have "Yeah, buts" coming at them from all directions. I'm sure you've met them ... they're the people who say you couldn't POSSIBLY BE SERIOUS about "THROWING AWAY all those years of experience" ... how COULD you WALK AWAY from doing something you're good at for which you've been well paid and go in an entirely different direction ... you're TOO OLD to play around with a new career ... is this your MID-LIFE CRISIS? I know you've all encountered those voices whether they're internal, external or a little of both.

If you don't have a good support system ... at least one solid as a rock person who believes in you ... you are likely to get close enough to touch that monumental boulder and say "what's the use -- there's no way I can do this. What ever made me think I could make a change". I can't tell you the number of people I've spoken with who tell me "I got right up to the edge of that cliff multiple times, and I was just too afraid to take the step into the unknown. So I went back to what I know ... but I still feel that something is missing." Does this sound like the dialogue with your inner voice?


Getting Your Bearings ...

Change is not easy and when you choose a path of change there is a certain amount of risk associated with it. Let's face it, there's a comfort in the status quo. It is certainly true that if you don't try you can't fail, but you'll never experience the sweet smell of success either. And down the road you may find yourself asking "what if".

If the change you've been pondering has left you unsure and exhausted ... if you find the fear of the unknown paralyzing ... there's that boulder! It's a rare person that doesn't struggle with these issues. The difference between those who take on the challenge and those who are overwhelmed by the boulder or the cliff ahead is plain and simple ... SUPPORT ... an extra pair of hands to help you push the boulder or who will hold your hand so the cliff doesn't look so terrifying.

When you have the backing of someone you trust ... someone who doesn't tell you what to do but lets you think it through and helps you weigh the possibilities ... someone who will be honest with you even if they think you won't be happy to hear his/her thoughts, suddenly you'll be able to see the boulder for the pebble it really is! If you don't have that support, you need to find it ... a family member, a good friend, a mentor, a coach or a counselor.

May all of your boulders become pebbles!