Stage 5: Acceptance

Final post in the series on grief and job loss ...

The fifth stage of grief is Acceptance. When you get to this stage, you begin to realize there IS a light at the end of the tunnel (and it's NOT an oncoming train). You begin to remember the successful you; your self esteem begins to return. You've been doing all the right things to help yourself through these stages and ... BOOM ... along comes a rejection letter and you're back in the soup again. This is totally normal! The reality is you may move back and forth through all these stages several time before you are really "through it all." The good news is ... you ARE going to get there!

During the Acceptance stage, your thoughts begin to turn to the positive. You've come to realize that dwelling on the unfairness of it all is pointless. You turn your energy to exploring your possibilities, remembering your successes and showcasing the "enthusiastic, confident and energetic you" in that next job interview. Really leaving the loss behind means you have room for embracing the future. Don't worry if you slip back to the other stages on occasion. You will most likely find yourself getting back on track more quickly because you recognize the normality of the situation and what you need to do to change.

Believe in yourself!

As a coach, I've discovered that one of the biggest obstacles to a person's success is the belief that somehow he/she doesn't deserve it. This feeling is especially pronounced when you are grieving your job loss. My advice to you is ... BALONEY! Even if you did have something to do with losing your job, forgive yourself and move on! EVERYONE DESERVES TO BE SUCCESSFUL AND LOVE THE WORK THEY DO ... EVERYONE ... NO EXCEPTIONS!

I'm a big fan of Dr. Wayne W. Dyer's work and one of my favorite books is "Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life." To BE successful, you need to THINK successful. At this point you may want to create a list of positive affirmations you can use to keep you moving forward and help you refocus when you have a setback. Developing a positive mindset is really one of the most powerful life strategies there is. Positive affirmations and positive thinking can turn failure into success and take success to a whole new dimension. Your positive attitude is the fuel for that success. (But that will be the topic for another posting!)

Dealing with the trauma of unemployment from a position of knowledge and anticipation is the key to getting your career back on track. The time will come when you'll be able to look back and see the silver lining in this job loss ... perhaps you would never have found the courage to leave the safety of what you knew to do something totally new ... maybe the change allowed you to cross paths with angels in your life ... could it be you had a passion for doing something that finally resurfaced when you had some time to think ... you may have used some of your newly found "free time" to reconnect with your family and friends and focus on improving your own health and happiness.

Life is too short, my friends, to not be doing something you love. You deserve to be successful ... you deserve to be happy ... you deserve to be fulfilled doing the work you love.

Believe it!