Attitude

I'm back ... after a brief break from blogging ...

A friend gave this reading to me a very long time ago. As we approach the beginning of a new year, ! thought it would be appropriate to share it with you ...

Attitude by Charles Swindoll

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company ... a church ... a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past ... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude ... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you ... we are in charge of our attitudes.

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Getting Your Bearings ...

I have always believed that attitude is everything.

The people who experience the most happiness and success in their lives are not necessarily the smartest, well-educated, well-connected people. They are people who learn from the past and focus on the future.

Don't get me wrong, the past IS important ... for remembering what has worked for us and what hasn't. However, I would caution you not to expend too much energy in that direction. Second guessing yourself ... playing that "what if" game ... only leaves you feeling bad about yourself and your situation.

You may feel that you don't have a great deal of control right now. If you're facing major changes in your life, whether you sought them or they just happened to you, things can be very hard. You may think I'm oversimplifying, but think about it ... where is the best place to expend your energy? Does anything good ever come from dwelling on the negatives in your past life or career? Getting back your positive energy is key to your forward progress.

Remember ... the only thing we are truly in control of is how we react to our situation.

Wishing you happiness in your life and career in 2010 and beyond!

Stage 5: Acceptance

Final post in the series on grief and job loss ...

The fifth stage of grief is Acceptance. When you get to this stage, you begin to realize there IS a light at the end of the tunnel (and it's NOT an oncoming train). You begin to remember the successful you; your self esteem begins to return. You've been doing all the right things to help yourself through these stages and ... BOOM ... along comes a rejection letter and you're back in the soup again. This is totally normal! The reality is you may move back and forth through all these stages several time before you are really "through it all." The good news is ... you ARE going to get there!

During the Acceptance stage, your thoughts begin to turn to the positive. You've come to realize that dwelling on the unfairness of it all is pointless. You turn your energy to exploring your possibilities, remembering your successes and showcasing the "enthusiastic, confident and energetic you" in that next job interview. Really leaving the loss behind means you have room for embracing the future. Don't worry if you slip back to the other stages on occasion. You will most likely find yourself getting back on track more quickly because you recognize the normality of the situation and what you need to do to change.

Believe in yourself!

As a coach, I've discovered that one of the biggest obstacles to a person's success is the belief that somehow he/she doesn't deserve it. This feeling is especially pronounced when you are grieving your job loss. My advice to you is ... BALONEY! Even if you did have something to do with losing your job, forgive yourself and move on! EVERYONE DESERVES TO BE SUCCESSFUL AND LOVE THE WORK THEY DO ... EVERYONE ... NO EXCEPTIONS!

I'm a big fan of Dr. Wayne W. Dyer's work and one of my favorite books is "Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life." To BE successful, you need to THINK successful. At this point you may want to create a list of positive affirmations you can use to keep you moving forward and help you refocus when you have a setback. Developing a positive mindset is really one of the most powerful life strategies there is. Positive affirmations and positive thinking can turn failure into success and take success to a whole new dimension. Your positive attitude is the fuel for that success. (But that will be the topic for another posting!)

Dealing with the trauma of unemployment from a position of knowledge and anticipation is the key to getting your career back on track. The time will come when you'll be able to look back and see the silver lining in this job loss ... perhaps you would never have found the courage to leave the safety of what you knew to do something totally new ... maybe the change allowed you to cross paths with angels in your life ... could it be you had a passion for doing something that finally resurfaced when you had some time to think ... you may have used some of your newly found "free time" to reconnect with your family and friends and focus on improving your own health and happiness.

Life is too short, my friends, to not be doing something you love. You deserve to be successful ... you deserve to be happy ... you deserve to be fulfilled doing the work you love.

Believe it!