Are you a person who has experienced one or more than one layoff recently? In today's economy, you are not the exception - you're the rule. Everyone knows someone who has experienced a layoff. If you are one of those people, what feelings can you expect to experience? How can you find the energy and the focus to more forward? How can you help a friend who is devastated by a layoff?
Leaving a job for whatever reason, means letting go of a part of your life.
If it's a voluntary move, you may have feelings of sadness that you're leaving someplace familiar where you've established friendships. Perhaps you even feel like you're leaving a family behind. These are very natural feelings, but they often take a back seat to the excitement of a new opportunity.
On the other hand, if it seems like your job has "left you" either through a layoff or perhaps being fired, there is also a feeling of loss but the feeling is often much deeper. You may feel that it isn't fair. You may be asking "why me." You may be feeling that the choices you made in your life weren't good ones. Perhaps you begin to hear that voice that says "maybe it's me ... maybe I just wasn't good enough." On top of that, you also have the feeling of leaving your friendships and work family behind. There's a solitary aspect to where you are now. What do you have to look forward to?
What can you do to find the spark again?
There are certainly a lot of emotions tied up in losing a job. If "misery truly loves company" knowing that you're not the only one with these feelings may help to some extent, but it doesn't pay the bills. It's very easy to find yourself dejected, without energy, feeling like there's nothing to look forward to. Sound depressing? Well, it can be ... but it DOESN'T HAVE TO BE!
The first thing you need to recognize is that this is a loss. It is perfectly natural to experience some or all of the same stages of grief experienced by someone who has survived a tragedy or lost a loved one. While grief may seem unbearable at the time, it is actually part of the healing process. There are five stages to the process: Denial and Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. These stages were first proposed by Dr. Elisabeth KΓΌbler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying,” but they are certainly relevant to loss of any kind.
In my next posts, I will discuss the feelings you may experience at each stage and how you can help yourself get through them and move to the final stage ... Acceptance.
Stay tuned!
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