Denial ... it's not a river in Egypt! It's a very real part of life. When something happens that evokes a deep emotional feeling, it's natural to deny that it hurts ... that you're disappointed ... that you're afraid of what happens next. Many people who lose a job keep their feelings inside. They rationalize the "whys" in their head while they deny the hurt in their heart. They tell everyone that it really is no big deal while they hide the fear that nobody will hire them. They walk a lonely path. They may be afraid to let others see the vulnerability.
I can tell you this from my own personal experience ... it isn't easy! After working for the same company for 31 years through mergers, acquisitions, divestitures, and moving my family more than 300 miles, I found myself unemployed for the first time in my life. In my mind I knew it was a business decision ... but how could this happen to me? I'm a smart person. I did my job to the best of my ability and I was successful, at least on some level, or I wouldn't have had so many promotions, new challenges and opportunities to grow.
In today's economy, this is a very common story. People who have given so much to their companies suddenly find the job or the company just isn't there any longer. Everyone knows someone who has been in this situation ... smart, capable people with good work ethics who, for whatever reason, find themselves without a job. And although you know you're not alone, you feel very much like you are.
Maybe you see yourself in this picture. Have you told the people you love that this happened to you? Have you shared that you're going through a difficult time? Have you come to grips with the fact that you need to look for a new opportunity? Are you afraid that you don't know how to do that because you've worked for the same company your whole life? Are you worried that you don't know what today's technology can do for you in your search? Does the thought of using technology or facing an interview make you break out in a cold sweat?
Well, my advice to you is ... take it one step at a time ...
- Find a way to tell your exit story without emotion and in less than 30 seconds. "It is what it is" and there's no possible good in rehashing the hurt. You'll need a good outlook on the break with your old company when you face a prospective employer anyway ... why not start now!
- Reach out to your family and friends and let them know you're looking for a new opportunity. Don't hide yourself away. You may not know what that new job will look like right away but don't be afraid to talk about it with the people who care about you. They might even have creative ideas on how you can use your many talents.
- Take advantage of any outplacement training opportunities you may have. If your company didn't provide any, check with your local Workforce Development department. They often offer classes to help you navigate your job search or learn new skills (as well as help you understand the world of unemployment).
- Find the time to do something to help someone else -- it will have a very positive affect on your psyche to be able to share your gifts with someone who needs help.
- Get out of your house!!! Find a networking group or professional organization to join. You'll make good contacts that might lead you to your next position. (If you are in the Boston area, you may want to try WIND, a wonderful networking group which provides job seekers a chance to network with each other during times of career change and sharpen job search skills. http://windnetworking.net/ )
- Find yourself a good career coach who can help you remember your success stories, figure out what you want to do next, organize your search, overcome obstacles to your success, set goals and keep you on a positive path.
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